Midgets and Totems

Her sense of balance was overwhelming him utterly. Even for a midget she had not a hair out of place, not a limb unstructurally aligned, not even a tiny hand a-fluttering as she leapt across the Great Divide. He could only swallow and admire.
Plus quake in his boots, seeing as his turn was next.
Just what had gotten him into this predicament he had no idea, although he did have a slight suspicion. This suspicion rested largely on the fact that she had just given him the best mind blowing sex ever, thus rendering him senseless for the better part of the remainder of the day. Toward evening he might slowly come back to his senses, but by then it would be too late. He would be longing for another load of her midgetness.
Usually he didn't like small people. This was the funny thing.
Well, self reflection was never really an issue with him. On the whole he was not bothered by moments of self doubt or delusions of grandeur (to name but a few of the possibilties on the grand scale of Ego Issues most people seemed to have these days). He mostly took himself as he came and found that to be a satisfactory arrangement.
So, paradox or not, here he was lusting after a midget in a pink tutu who was leaping across the Divide as we speak, a feat which he had until this moment thought only possible when drunk on spacewine. She had proved him wrong again. How he loved this woman.
Sentimentality aside, now he was treading the boards, trembling rather a lot and suddenly discovering a curious need to pee.
Nevertheless, onwards. There future depended on this moment, on his getting to The Other Side, where they might finally meet up with the Totem and pay their respects.
This was a passage of right which had been firmly established in 1802 when his grand uncle Neddy had been the first to leap over and discover the Totem at the other end. This Totem spoke wonderful, encouraging words for one's future. Necessary words if one wanted to find one's purpose in life. Which naturally one did. Lolling around on the dole was only permissable until 27 years of age after which Real Life began.
Having already had several, depressingly grown up talks on this subject with both his mother and his father as well as his pet Dahlia (who was actually a house trained maggot) he had decided the time was nigh (or rather, it had been decided for him.)
Luckily, Cherrypoo (for that was her name) had come to the same conclusion, reached the same stage in life and wasn't it nice when you discovered you weren't the only one? This created a bond, which led to sex and now they were a couple, official like.
And what do couples do but leap after each other, blindly and adoringly. Until one or other falls off the deep end, which he was now threating to do.
Luckily she came to his rescue and that was when he knew it was True Love.
Back to the Divide. As the mist parted they saw they had landed in a swampy landscape of indescribable murkiness.
(A little explanation here seems wise. Each time one crosses over it will look different on the Other Side. It is merely a relflection of one's internal state.)
This did not bode well, indeed it did not.
They clasped each others hands with a fervour only found in the very young and innocent and crept forward, expecting at any moment to be hit over the head by a banshee or at the very least eaten by a dragon.
None of this happened however, for a depressingly long time. One can endure only so much sress until the body becomes accustomed to it, so they started to relax and look about them a bit more. Suddenly she pointed toward an attractive looking grove of trees (attractive despite the murky mistiness enveloping them and nearly smothering them.)
The moment seemed right. They decided they were ripe for some more sex.
Just as she was treating him to one of her special party tricks the Totem spoke. For little did they know this grove of trees WAS the Totem, in all it's ornate glory and she was not thrilled about having her respects paid in this manner. Being matronly of nature she was somewhat ruffled by the experience.
She did not, however, let this hinder her in Speaking. For when she spoke, she Spoke.
Thunderously, so that the nearby trees shook in their firmaments, she gave the Word.
And the Word said, he was to become a plumber and she a nurse.
Thus they entered the glorious Age of Adulthood meekend by an experience that would haunt them for the rest of their lives. Not for them the dreams of ambition afforded to so many other of their counterparts.
Reality hit them firmly on the head and said the world needed useful people on occasion and that was the role they were to play.